Let's Just Admit It...I'm An Introvert

I was browsing Facebook the other day when I ran across a video. The name of it was "Ten Myths About Introverts". I've always been one to keep to myself so when I found a name for it (introvert), I was elated to know I wasn't alone!

In the video, this guy talks about an article, "10 Myths About Introverts", and how it relates to him. I thought, what a wonderful idea?! I feel so misunderstood at times because I am an introvert and I deal with things in an introverted way. People who aren't an introvert don't understand because they operate differently. Being misunderstood can be very hurtful, especially when you try your hardest to get your point across in the best ways you know how. I want to be understood, especially by my loved ones, so I'm going to take the time to touch on all ten topics and how they relate to me. I will call this my 'I'm An Introvert' Series. I couldn't think of anything cute to call it, so I called it what it is...lol!

Myth #1) Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

This statement is somewhat complicated to address. The group of people I'm with will dictate my actions. The reasons I don't like talking around my coworkers will be completely different from the reasons why I don't like talking around a group of people I don't know at all, but I will try to explain as best as I can.

Here's a couple of quick facts:

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1) If I don't really know you, odds are you won't get too much conversation out of me.
2) I'm a very quiet speaker and I don't like repeating myself...I know, I know...but that's just the truth. Talking loudly is uncomfortable for me. I've been working on this and it's gotten a little better, but it's been a struggle for me.
3) I also don't like being in the spotlight. I will rarely be the center of attention in any crowd. Having too many sets of eyes on me makes me nervous...
4) Because of this, I tend to make minimal eye contact in some situations...not because I'm intimidated by people or being disrespectful...but because I'm more comfortable talking without eye contact (in SOME situations...not all).

I'm not particularly fond of "small talk". I define small talk as conversations with people I'm not all that close with. I think small talk is weird and I'm not all that good at it. In fact, I'm not all that good at holding conversations with people I don't see often or know that well. For situations when small talk is appropriate, I don't mind it. But I'm okay with being around people without talking. I'm more comfortable that way.

I do talk, however, and the people closest to me can attest to that. Look at the length of this pictureless post (for example)! Outside of small talk there are things I like to talk about...and will elaborate on in detail if given the room to do so. If I don't have anything to say, I won't say anything at all. Some times I won't say anything even if I do have something say. I don't know why but it's the truth. There have been past experiences when I've been talked over, interrupted, ignored, etc. (which I'm sure we all have) and these things weren't necessarily done on purpose, but I've taken away from these experiences to only talk when I feel I will be heard.

Because I don't talk that much, I listen more...and I'm a great listener. I listen, A LOT, and I hear a lot of things because I listen. I think people can sense that I'm a good listener and that I am pretty good at being unbiased in conversations...it's the therapist in me! There are many times when people (whom I may not even be close with) will talk to me about things they definitely wouldn't talk to a blabbermouth about. The flip side to being a great listener is really needing and wanting someone to be there and willing to really listen to me when I need an ear. I want to be heard, I want to be understood, and I want my feelings to be validated...which does not mean agreement, but acknowledgment. Anger, attitude, coming into the conversation with walls up, and the downplaying or dismissal of my feelings makes it even harder for me to share. I haven't quite mastered the art of expressing when I really need people to listen to me, even with those I'm close with, but I'm working on that too.

So, this post is only just the beginning. As a disclaimer for all of the topics I'll be discussing in this series, let me say: I AM WHO I AM! My mom used to tell me and my sister that every time we would tell her that she's said a word wrong or that she was doing something differently than the way we did it. Now that I'm older, I see that I'm so much like her in so many ways. I used to hate when my Mom would tell us that because I would think it wasn't that hard to just do it "right". I understand her statement better now that I'm a little older and have lived life a little bit. I also understand it when I'm being misunderstood myself...or when I feel someone is trying to "make" me change.

I've been on this Earth for 27 years (In her words but with a different age). I've evolved into this person because of situations I've lived through. People will say things like...'you don't need to be that way', or 'you need to work on that', or 'stop doing that/do it this way', or 'why are you like that'. Trust me, there are things I want to change overnight but it's not that easy to change what I've learned over a lifetime. This is not to say I'll never change, it just takes time.

HOWEVER, there are some aspects of who I am that I feel are perfectly fine just the way the are. For instance...so what if I don't like to talk loud or be the center of attention? There are plenty of loud, attention-seeking/loving people in the world to take care of this for us all. We're all different and should be respected for who we are because nobody is perfect.

After all, our uniqueness is what creates this crazy world we live in.... :-)